flush those excuses.

"...maybe if guys just aren't that into you that they should just state one thing and only one thing: I'M NOT READY. MOVE ALONG NOW. SHOO! at least that's being honest. no grey areas."

exp.4 - why (i think) guys do NOT say those words.

fact is, everyone's selfish. if you're a girl, you'd know how it is to wanna 'keep the fans'. come on, admit it. we all do it.

a guy comes along, clearly interested, average looking (according to your taste), but 'not your cuppa tea' - boyfriend wise. still, you do things (even just little things) to keep that attention. some of you may use the "maybe i would fall for him someday, so i just wanna keep him around" excuse, while some may go the extreme and say "that's just me. i can't help it that my 'normal' self misleads him" bullcrap. - im not judging.

point it, guys do that too. yes, some may 'sincerely' say that to spare our feelings (although it really does more damage in the long run), but really, no one would willingly cut out 'attention' from their lives. everyone loves a spare boat. everyone needs a fall-back plan. everyone wants to keep that shred of hope that someone out there, despite all their other rejections in life, still "wants them".

thats one perspective. but hop on to the other side. if you're the spare-boat, the fall-back plan, the 'mere assurance' in that person's lives, ask yourself, what are you doing? why are you knowingly throwing yourself at someone, only to play their second fiddle?

a quote we should live by: "dont make someone a priority when to them, you're just an option."


exp.5 - why (i think) you should not buy into their 21st centuary cliche excuses.

if there's one thing guys have learn from 'the complicatedness' of girls, its their ability to "not mean what they say". we (girls) have read dozens of articles on how guys complain "girls say one thing, but mean another", "i don't know" actually means "you're the asshole!", and "nothing" actually means "are you blind?! of course i'm mad!"... but guys are no different. at least in this matter they aren't.

if you havent already read the infamous 'he's just not that into you' book, read it! lame ass excuses such as "don't wanna ruin the friendship" and "i'm not ready for commitments" should really only translate to mean you're not the one they want.

it'd be debateable whether that means they'd want you at a later time, but even if so, that'd only be because they didn't find anyone else, hence decide to settle for the one who's a sure thing. (also called the safe bet, the easy way out, the 'done deal')

after all, you can run a marathon and dream of all the cold fizzy refreshment awaiting you at the finish line, but who wouldn't stop for water handily given out along the way, rite? and just in case you missed the point, you are the WATER. do you really wanna be that person for them? or the better question to ask is, do you think that's what you deserve?

there'll always be someone out there who'd dream of you as that prize at the finish line. that's the standard we should live by when it comes to men. don't ever let him make you compromise that.

he's just not that into you, silly.

guys and their crappy ass, lame and lousy excuses for not wanting to be in a relationship. so you've hung out, you've danced, you've held hands and you've kissed. and when you ask him , "so.... what am i to you?" ..he replies, "i'm seeeeeeeing you babe". please slap yourself hard for actually allowing yourself to believe such LIES. or better yet, konk yourself on the head with a glass bottle for attempting such sweet gestures with a guy who is just physically but NOT emotionally available to you. bravo!

there are NO grey areas. no such in-betweens. it's either you're with me or you're not. you want me or you don't. love me or not. there is a very good reason why we see girls in movies pluck petals of a whole flower by saying, "he loves me.. he loves me NOT, he loves me.." .. because ladies, that is how the world works. i'm not saying one shouldn't wait and have faith that someday that 'perfect' person's feelings will change. i realise that feelings are quite the inconsistent variable BUT it's just so damn bloody hurtful to acknowledge the oh-so-popular phrase 'he's just not THAT into you'.

and then here comes the explanation to go along with 'i'm seeing you'.

exp. 1- i want us to get to know each other better.

ok. first of all, that's what break-ups are for. i'm not conservative.. not THAT much anyway, but when people kiss, it shows that they do want to be with each other. exclusive even, for that matter. i mean, why kiss someone when you're going to be pashing someone else afters? i know i've had my share of pashing.. er, randomly BUT in my defense, they were all dares and i did really have feelings. ok, not much of a strong argument there. but you get my drift. and furthermore, the entire point of being in a relationship is to GET to know each other better. you're always going to learn new things about each other despite being in one or without. the difference is, do i want to get to know you on a whole different level than just as friends. i want to know you inside out, learn to accept and appreciate your every flaw or perfection, be with you every step of the way, I WANT TO LEARN YOU AS MINE.

exp. 2- i've yet to take you out on a real date.

well if you really haven't, shame on you again, girl. but honestly, what is really considered a real date nowadays anyway? a group hang is a date. when you go to the movies and sat next to each other, holding hands is a date. when you dance together at a club is a date. when you're over at his house just chilling and maybe kiss a little is a date. if he doesn't consider THOSE as dates, ok, SLAP YOURSELF HARDER. then what the hell do they consider as? a friend with benefits session??? just because you group hang, you still do sweet gestures. bloody hell, i'd consider them dates.

and another thing, after he explains that that you and him HAVEN'T been on a real date yet, do you hear him ask you out after that? is he all talk and no action? what a jerk. or.. he could just be stressed out with other things at the moment. go on continue waiting for that date. be a fool because what are we all but fools in love.

___________

bullshit. bullshit. bullshit. i've always thought that when two people really like each other, they'd want to be with each other and ONLY with each other. it's a universal thing. you don't give someone the option to not wait and allow them to latch elsewhere if something better comes along. instead, you'd want them to stay, not go. you'd want them all for yourself. you'd be selfish. you'd be possesive. you'd be desperately in deep infatuation/ love. it's automatic. capeesh?

- xoxo, misguidedheart.


EDIT; i totally forgot. here's exp. 3: relationships are commitment.

- okay. first and foremost, don't try and play that card. no one, and i mean NO ONE should use that as an excuse to not try to be in a relationship. everything is a commitment. you've got to try and work hard at everything you do. it's like school, uni and work. they are all commitments and yet, you still go through with them. there is no sure way as to how a relationship might end up. "just get messy in life, at least you know you're living". you can't expect to work less later on just because you know each other more thoroughly before diving into a relationship. like i said, you're always going to find out new things about each other despite being further down the road together.

you know what. i've just realised by ranting regarding the 3rd exp. doesn't even really make sense. all i can say is that it's just a damn lousy excuse to get out of not wanting to be in a relationship. i've beginning to appreciate the idea that maybe if guys just aren't that into you that they should just state one thing and only one thing: I'M NOT READY. MOVE ALONG NOW. SHOO! at least that's being honest. no grey areas. it might actually do us girls a favor so we don't waste our bloody time waiting around, wondering aimlessly. and girls, this goes the same to you too so don't think you're off the hook. by the way, i do realise this is such an emotionally-driven entry. HAHA XD !!!