.how to help your girlfriend.

things girls need to remind their girls when they're too blind to see:

x. no guy would not enjoy being sandwiched between two girls who really wants them. yes, he may feel lost and confused, having to choose between the two. but fact is, whether they complain about it or not, they secretly love it. they love being wanted by two girls. its a super ego boost. especially when its between two hot girls.

so remind your girl: she shouldn't sit around, waiting for this loser to make up his mind between the two. dont tell her she shouldn't be with him, but she definitely shouldn't stick around during such time just to feed his ego. if he really likes her, she doesnt need to stick around him to remind him to care about her.

***
x. a girl needs to tell their girlfriends the odd things their boyfriend tells them. WHY? becuz when they're blinded, they dont see/realise how stupid half the things these guys say. somehow everything seem to make sense, even when it clearly doesnt!

so remind your girl: if it feels slightly weird/odd that their guy said what he did, discuss it with you. in detail (what led to him saying what he did/what was said before that) and in exact words and intonation. chances are, you'd see it better than them, and will be able to tell them exactly how he's manipulating their feelings for him for his selfish and greedy benefit!

one thing we always hear is that,

"girls are complicated."

because apparently we dont say what we mean and so on and so forth but to be honest, all girls really only want one thing and that one thing is really simple; not complicated at all.

we all just want to be loved; appreciated.

now,thats not complicated at all isnt it?

Girls,

the one thing that you must remember no matter what:

you must make sure you are HAPPY.

if he makes you happy and sad equally,its still not enough.

10 days of crying is NOT compensated by 1 day of "awww,he gave me a present / he said something so sweet / he did something so thoughtful" the person who said,"love hurts" didnt mean the person you love (and loves you) will hurt you for no specific reason.

he is leaving.

ok. here's the deal. boyfriend is leaving. no, not breaking up .. although there is no denying that it IS an option. what's your second choice? long distance (good luck with that!). now, the dilemma: when should he tell you beforehand that he will be leaving you?

the comparison: a year before OR 2 weeks?

i have made my choice. i pick a year before. sure, it's going to hurt like a bitch, counting down to that second he sets foot on that plane and you're left helpless, trying to hold on to every shattered fragment of your already bruised heart. tears start to flow like rain and you feel as though you're never going to smile again, ever. all you want to do is kick and scream like a child robbed of it's favourite toy. you can't breathe. your heart weighs like a million pounds. you wish you could close your eyes and bury yourself underneath the blanket of you and his memories together because that's the last safest place you feel and the next best thing to having his arms around you again. at the same time, feelings of anger and betrayal sets in. like a girlfriend of mine once said, "maybe that's how patients with terminal cancer feel like".

a year. what can you achieve? well, for starters, planning. the opportunity to sit down and talk about it together. discuss your options. long distance? how will it work? visits every end year? how often would you both call each other? basically the works on how you both will stay connected to each other during this period. now, ask yourself, what are you working towards? will one of you move to the other side eventually? is he coming back? talks of engagement perhaps?

and if you think about it, this time would allow both of you to mature: making decisions as one and ask yourself: why are you staying in this? is it worth it? do YOU want this and how far are you willing to push to make this work?

*** 'open' long distance? forget it. why bother staying together, i say.

and if somewhere down the line, you realise that you want to give up, then by all means, work towards it. sure it's going to be hard to move on especially with him still around but you know what? ironic as it may seem, his presence there still, will help cushion your fall. trust me on this. it will hurt knowing that he's still around but here's the good news: he WILL leave. the trick to letting go is do it slowly but properly.

so there. this is what you get with a year's notice.

and what do you get with 2 weeks notice?
a girlfriend of mine argues saying that you are relieved of the torture of counting down to him leaving. it's better to just get it over and done with as soon as possible. it hurts too much. and you know what? i understand. i really do, hun. but here's the deal:

1 year or 2 weeks, you are STILL going to feel the pain of waiting for him to leave, regardless. and on top of that, you go into shock mode. it's like throwing someone into the forest with toilet paper. you get used to it, but what happens when it disappears one day? if you knew you it was going to run out, you plan your alternatives. you slowly accept the fact you will have to live without it sooner or later.

and just so you know, going into shock mode is pretty dangerous. it's like being trapped in a stage where you haven't even begun to accept that fact but you're already seeking remedy. and in most cases, these remedies are found in the wrong places with the wrong people. (cue: red flag!)

so boyfriends, if you ARE planning on leaving your girlfriends to go overseas, let her know as soon as you make up your mind. and by making up your mind, i don't mean once you've bought your air tickets and cut your phone/ mobile/ electricity/ water rent/ bill, etc. i mean, once you're set, the phase before you execute your plan. at least 3 months notice, please. come on people, if you can't do it, what's the point of being one with someone else?

and again, 1 year OR 2 weeks?
1 YEAR, MOST DEFINITELY.

3 months.

post break up, that is.

we've all heard the usual. surround yourself with friends, family aka people who love you. invest your time in a fun / productive activity. put yourself out there, date around, random flings, backseat snoggings, start a diary (and then you realise that you've written that jerk's name at least 5 times per page) ... the entire works. and yet, after 3 bloody months of doing ALL that, you still find yourself back at square one. ok, not exactly where you started but just inches away from the starting line.

what do you do?
hmm. maybe, just maybe, that's not the question.
how about : WHY ARE YOU IN SUCH A RUSH TO MOVE ON?

take your time. everyone heals differently. the more you obsess about moving on, the more you surround yourself with hate for that ass. moving on is not a competition. why in the world are you trying to compete with yourself when that ass doesn't even give two freaking dimes whether or not you're able to move on the very next day post break up or 3 years later? rome wasn't built in a day and that's dealing with bricks and mortar. moving on is heavily driven by emotions, a very inconsistent variable, mind you.

i promise you. you WILL get there. you WILL get over him. but you need to accept that he's gone. that he's never coming back. like that famous book title, 'it's called a break up because it's broken'. people seem to forget that post break up is not about rushing forward, it's about slowing down. let your heart heal. yes, logic tells you to move on NOW. remember, your mind and heart are two very separate entities. the heart needs time to synchronise with the mind.

oh, and don't forget ladies, numbing pain is the worst.
sure, you fill your days with work and laughter. i'm not saying it's a bad thing, it IS therapy. but it's not the only pre-requisite to moving on. cry, get pissed, scream if you must (don't piss people off in the process, ofcourse). otherwise, you're only creating a ticking bomb out of yourself. hiding it, doesn't make the pain disappear. can you imagine what would happen the next second you get thrown in another heartache? that's DOUBLE the pain you're carrying.

someone once said to me, "the only reason you're not moving on is because somehow deep down, you're not really letting go". so, ask yourself, what is it and slowly accept that you need to let it go. let go ...

When is the right time?

when your friends seem to care for you more.
when you feel happier when you are by yourself.
when each time you talk to him,he makes you mad.

is it time to break up?

lesson learnt

i recently got out of yet another one of those blah relationships. you know, the type that you try to convince yourself wasn't a waste of time because it taught you something. *pfft*

so here's what i have to say about my most recent break up.

follow your heart. that really is all that matters. dont try to analyse him. dont sit around with your girlfriends to disect his pros and cons, or his likelihood to being worthy, or how great he might or might not be. if you like him, and he likes you to, go for it. (unless he's a serial murderer or rapist or etc - i trust that you're not stupid)

people may not understand, but they really dont have to. even you dont have to. just feel it.

the reason for the above is because you can never know whether he's right until you try. fact is, the right guy for you can come in any form, size, shape, or type. dont restrict yourself to what you think is right for you, or what your friends/family thinks is right for you, cuz nobody knows.

i think i now understand why some couples who seem mismatched in my eyes can still live happily ever after. because they allowed themselves to love what they love, rather than love what they're suppose to love.

correct me if im wrong, bu i think im making sense.

The Fundamentals

-the fundamentals

what is a relationship?
two people who promises to stay true to each other and not be with anyone else.be boyfriend and girlfriend.

what is an open relationship?
be boyfriend and girlfriend with exceptions.you're still together as a couple but its totally appropriate to screw around.

what is "just seeing each other" ?
the labels boyfriend and girlfriend are taboos.you're not together but you do things that people who are together do without the commitment and strings attached.

what is FWB / FB? {Friends With Benefits / F*ck Buddies}
two people who are either friends or acquaintances that can do things that couples do without any real emotion, communication and yada yada. (whatever else there is people are so fed up of to allow themselves to get so low)

what is Marriage?
a vow to God that you and your partner will be loyal to each other in sickness and health, good times and bad...yada yada.be husband and wife.

what is an Open Marriage?
a vow to God that you and your partner will...what? live together but its okay for either husband or wife to go out and screw someone else?

...what is an apple?
a fruit.

what is an Open apple?
a fruit.

i dont know what/how the modern world works. i dont know if "the modern woman" of today actually approve of being in these kinds of deteriorating situations. as a female, i can honestly say it doesnt matter what year i am born in, early 70's or late 90's i WANT a relationship thats only me and my partner.no exceptions - a real closed relationship. i want an apple thats whole.

what is a Boyfriend?
the male.whose more important and holds greater expectations compared to all the other guys out there.he is a person who is able to let you be who you are, let you be independent but will always assure you that he will be there to catch you if you ever fall.he is the person who walk through fire to make sure he's there and cheering you up when life gets you down.

he is there to shoo away people who poses you a threat. he is the one who forgets about his ego and cooks for you because your hungry.he is the one who spends 5$ to play a crummy game just so he can win you a soft toy at carnivals.he is the one who will love you and make you feel special.

what is a Girlfriend?
the female.who the boyfriend prioritizes more than anything else in his life.(with the exception of family) she is there by his side whenever she can, even if more than half the time she's quiet.she is the one who will let him talk loudly at her when in front of his friends and then erupts on him when they are alone. she is the one who sits down happily and waits for the boyfriend to bring her food.she is the one telling herself,"i'm the luckiest girl on earth" when the boyfriend buys her things,says something sweet or do small gestures that melts her heart.

she is the person who cant sleep at night when the boyfriend is sick, she is the one who might never cook but goes out of her way to make something healthy for the boyfriend.she is the one who spends half a day thinking about the boyfriend.she is the one either calling the boyfriend too often or waiting for him to call too often.shes the one laughing and nodding to jokes and stories the boyfriend tells but dont find it funny or amusing.she feels safer,loved and special.

"she feels safer,loved and special."
that's what a girlfriend SHOULD feel.thats why people get into relationships!to be able to say,"hes mine!" or "shes mine!" feel safe, loved for who they are without having to fight for it and at the end of it all, special because of everything the boyfriend does.

NOT - telling herself, "we're in an open relationship,so he can go do the same things with girls out there. i'm fine with it."

Bake Your Own Cake!
a relationship is NOT an obligation. you can go your whole life without being in a relationship and nobody will punish you so why do people make so many alternatives for a relationship? its like Going to School, people find alternatives like home schooling and e-education. thats fine because education is an obligation but remember! relationships are not. if you dont want what a relationship, then dont.

dont try getting yourself in "open relationships" or get FWBs just so you can have your cake and eat it too. if you want a cake, BAKE YOUR OWN! you want it sweet? put in more sugar. you want it bigger? add more eggs, more flour. if it burns? its only because you left it in the oven for too long and baking a cake isnt something people are successful at the first time around. you're gonna waste flour and a lot of time because you're first cake might taste horrible or it cant rise up into a real cake, it might be lopsided. one day, with persistence, you WILL succeed.

when you do,the feeling you get is so empowering. good things in life dont come easy.open relationships, FWBs, open marriages...their the things cowards do.the people who are bound to fail because they dont even try.so "modern people" of today, is that what you want? is that what you've become? because its a damn shame.

who do you wanna be?

my dear men,

it has come to our attention that nowadays, you are allowed to throw fits and to have extra sensitive feelings and emotions that we cannot 'hurt'. we are also now aware that you expect us to pick up on the slightest change of mood, tone of voice, random sighs and unusual looks of discomfort by looking into your eyes.

but here's the deal. if you wanna be the newage hyper-sensitive guy, be prepared to lose the old cliche excuses that guys love so much. excuses such as 'men don't notice those things' and 'men dont understand why women do/think/say things like that' so on and so forth just wont work anymore.

the logic -

if you wanna show traits of being so in touch with your emotions, you've lost the privilege of being the ignorant men.

if you can be sensitive enough to notice and be so adamant about your 'hurts' that we've caused, and have the balls to be verbal to us about it, its only normal that we'd expect you to be sensitive enough to notice ours.

so pick a side, or be welcomed to our world and everything that comes with it.

dont know what to think.

probably shouldn't post something when one is feeling emotionally unstable. at the same time, this could be the best time to post because everything feels so fresh in your mind. ok, here's the deal -

if your boyfriend cheated on his girlfriend (who is someone he hooked up with on the internet while pending their first everything) to be with you, what are the chances that he would cheat on you when he finally does meet this virtual-became-reality girl, while you're overseas?

the above may sound like a soapie, but sadly, this soapie is currently happening to moi.

and how much of your gut instinct can you trust?
and how much weight do u give to the little things?

like... how he does not tell you as much about the things he's been upto;
like... how he becomes selective when he answers your questions about that girl;
like... how he doesn't initiate phone conversations anymore;
like... how he decides to quote lines like "I'm a realist. I'm a romantic. I'm an indecisive, piece of shit";
like... how he decides to go out with her and conveniently not tell you about it until you have to ask him twice about it (mind you, i was nice and did not appear threatened the first time he told me he did);
like... how you just can feel that he sends you short messages like "i miss you sexiness" as an obligation, rather than something he truly means;

like... how you have been feeling very disconnected from him even before he "confessed" that he saw her again...?

as much as one wishes not to think about the things above, how can they not if they still care about the relationship?

and how do you sleep at night when you know you cant ask him about it now, in fear that you'd be labelled the irritating and needy and jealous girlfriend, while he's conveniently around the arms of his virtual-turned-reality ex girlfriend? (who still wishes to have a piece of him, mind you)

and not forgetting, when you have a constant reminder that 3 months ago, she was the irritating, needy and jealous girlfriend (as he calls her) while you were the one who was conveniently around! need i remind you how that turned out?

wth. i am so losing my cool.
and i know one way, the only way, to regain my compulsure.
and im not afraid to use it.

the break.

what happens when you're trapped in a relationship where your guy says 'go on girl' when it starts to rain? it's all smiles and giggles until you hear the thundering of sound of a storm up ahead. how is it possible that one can push a loved one away so easily when something bad comes up? and to what extent is that okay? and mind you, this isn't a 'go away and leave me alone for a day' kind of shoving. it's a 'racheal and ross' kind of break.

i'd imagine it would be ok if he just needs a few days off and of course ladies, we've all been there esp when it's our time of the month when we just need to be left alone. but when a guy can easily conjur up a solution as to having a break... it's heartbreaking. it makes one feel like the other has become a burden. someone told me that there is a fine distinction between dealing with one's problems and keeping a loved one at arm's length to deal with it.

and then there are pathetic girls who still put up with it and stay by their boyfriend's side despite being already kicked temporarily out of his life. i'd be happy for you if it all works out now, but what happens when he's going through another issue in the future? you can't help but wonder, will you be left out in the cold again?

one advise i received from a friend is: ask your man, what exactly is this break suppose to achieve? and work from there.

but if the real reason he is doing this is to cushion the final fall, the official break up, then you can bitch slap him all the way to antartica for all i care. he doesn't deserve you, not one bit because that's just cruel.

we dont want to be adored; we want to be loved.

recently talked to a friend (boy) who has recently found out his ex-girlfriend has recently started dating someone new. someone nicer, sweeter and the total opposite of him. we spent hours and hours chatting about how upset and how much he regrets the way he treated his ex-girlfriend and he kept asking for advise on how to get her back. he claims that what they have is so special. love;thats what he called it.

of course i felt bad for the guy, hes lost someone he really cares about and he has to see them be totally happy together. sort of like having it rubbed onto his face some more. then he says some things that has been stuck on my mind since. he said he regrets not prioritizing her more, he says that he never spent more time with her and the reason he did that was at the back of his mind he just thought she would never leave him. he took for granted that she loved him unconditionally and i can tell, she did. i know both parties and i can say that she really loved him unconditionally but she just got to a point where enough is enough.

then he justifies that he really loved her and its not because he didnt care enough for her for him to spend more time with her, talk to her more and/or prioritized her more. its because...and i quote, "sometimes boys get busy with things like friends, sports or whatever and we just forget about our girlfriends." and he quickly added, "its not because we dont care for them enough, we love our girlfriends but its just...sometimes we forget." is that really true? how can you get involved in something (anything at all) to the point where you forget about your girlfriend? forget to call her or text her. are men and women really that different?

i know for a fact, no matter how busy a female is. her boyfriend is always in her mind somewhere and in the midst of chaos, she would still be able to pick up the phone and call just to say that shes thinking of him. its so easy but why is it so difficult for males to do the same?

if that is true, it they really can just forget (they love us but they cant help but forgetting about us) what are we females suppose to do? do we accept the fact and never voice up when they are busy and forget to call us?

heres what i think:
from another thing my friend said to me, "sometimes we have to be reminded."(which i think is so foolish because if you love someone and really care for them, you shouldnt have to be reminded to keep in contact with them but thats besides the point.) so my answer is yes. yes to voicing up, letting them know or reminding them.."hey! i know you're busy but i'm still here." because i've noticed, no matter how secure or stable a relationship is both parties have got to say "i love you/i appreciate you/i miss you/i care about you" often enough because (even though words are just words) they mean so much.

and if the males arent aware of that fact, ladies! we have to make it clear because even though we want to give them the benefit of a doubt, sometimes their just so incredibly clueless...and another thing that my friend said."i really didnt know what i got till i lost it and now i feel so helpless." we've got sometimes remind the boys, they can lose us any second and they should never take us for granted. so ladies, as much as you love your boyfriends and want to make them feel just as loved...its so important to sometimes make them feel a little bit insecure just so they know they should take us for granted and hold on to us a little tighter. we've got to have our tactics to make sure we are loved the way we are suppose to, the way we deserve to because we do. dont you ever question that.

Too Much?

in a relationship,when do you know if you need more together time or when do you know if you need more alone time? should it be a problem if too much time is spent together? and why? thats a little hard to be justified but its obviously a problem if too little time is spent together but how much is too little?

this or that.

i don't know which is worse. being in an official relationship and not feel like being in one .. or NOT being in an official relationship but feel like it.

who do you love?

i can't stress it enough. be with someone who appreciates you. who wants you. who needs you. who willingly lets you in.. and if possible, be with someone who is more likely to love you more than you love them. and by saying this, i don't mean that you don't really love them. it's just, that you know deep down that he is your sun, moon and stars, but you are his universe.

the brave one

heres a random thought; you know how in movies or fairytales - in inspirational love stories and all that. people give up their whole world, they go against the will of others {family included} they do everything in their power when they think they have met the ONE to stay together. to fight wars together to get through every bad thing that they will encounter. they confide everything in each other; they throw their whole worlds away just so they can build one with just each other. its all really epic and great but what if one day they realise their not meant for each other?

how many of us are brave enough to risk everything they have for love? what happens to the few who do and find out it was a risk not meant to be taken?

where does the love go?

carrie from sex and the city once asked, "when a couple breaks up, where does the love go?" and someone replied, "to their next girlfriend".

would that mean then that guys recycle their feelings? nah, doubt it. should probably give them more credit than that. i reckon guys do think of their past but they don't analyse it.. or obsess about it much. we girls, however, tend to over question it. how, where and why it went wrong. believe me, we could come up with a thousand reasons and would still be able to find another 10 000 reasons.

which brings me to my next question.

girls reminisce. i'm not sure whether it's part of the healing process or it could mean you're simply just not over your ex yet (and it's a bad idea to surrender yourself to such memories). but what about guys? do guys think of their ex girlfriends? and if so, how often? do they take the easy route and just put a huge ass plaster over it so they don't have to deal with the wound face to face but knowing that it'll heal in time? or could they possibly even just don't deal with the past, period? should what's over be left over and done with?

hmm. i guess there's no general answer to the question. everyone deals differently. everyone's break up is different. but in the end, we all move on. eventually. and maybe that's what we should focus on. as for memories, it's ok to look back once in a while. i mean after all, they are what made us and brought us here today. but i say no to deleting them. set them aside instead, for new memories to happen.

the ex.

so rarely have i found a song that so coincides with EXACTLY how i feel at the moment. and that song for me right now is marit's (of m2m) "under the surface".

she sings about how a girl feels content with her new found love. doubting that he could be real. and most importantly, keeps wondering his ex: comparison.

it's bad. it's the worst thing ever to feel this way. one might even call it self-abuse, really. i mean come on, the guy is already with you. he chose to move on with you. he left his past. he loves you NOW. and that should be all that matters. and yet.. why. why do girls compare? i guess it's human nature to. comparing is healthy sometimes. it teaches you a thing or two. if in the past you had a guy who would go that extra mile for you.. and this new guy can't, then obviously, you're not settling for what you could achieve.

but it's a whole different story now. you're the one doing the comparison. you become the one being compared to. well technically, you don't know that. do guys even compare really? we'll never know. so what do girls do? they take it in their hands to make the comparison to their guy's ex. not all girls generally do this. but few still do, especially with one who is lacking in the self-confidence department as i am.

so ladies, how does one get through this? i've tried dismissing the idea altogether. trying hard to believe that it's me that he has chosen. and that the past is the past. the weak point here, a leopard never changes its spots. once you're skeptical, you stay that way. so what did i do next? stare at fear in its eyes. looking at old photos of them together. sweet messages left for each other. (the internet is like one huge ass pandora box btw). this actually worked a bit for me. it was really heart-breaking at first, especially with kissing photos of them.. but after that, it just felt like, "awww". .. then "meh".. . then finally, "whatever". few days later.. i find myself going through the same cycle again.

i still haven't found a cure for this. i'm beginning to think that perhaps, there is a teeny tiny part of me that hungers for drama, subconsciously. sigh. but what i will do is.. work on my relationship. technically there is nothing to work on.. but you get what i mean. make it better. built trust. learn to believe in myself... in 'us'. believe that whatever we have is stronger. keep the back door slightly ajar for now since i'm not ready to close it completely.. yet. good luck to me.

simple truth.

you know how when you want cake, you can just buy the instant pre-mix in a box.. or if you've got the determination, you bake it from scratch?

so what about passion? what about chemistry? what about connection? can it be generated over time? i would think the answer is no. N-O, NO.

if we could, you'd still be stuck with the first love of your life.
get over it ladies. no "zha zha zhu" (carrie; sex & the city) = MOVE ON.

not making sense.

we all know sometimes love isn't enough. but why?

because it's not the right person? maybe when we finally meet the one, all worries and doubts are thrown out the window. and the back door vanishes because we'll never need it anymore. no more comparing. no more cold feet.

and then you start to wonder. what if then, all this while, we're just really settling for safe? that's why everything seems so easy. you and him, it fits.

so maybe you can look at it two ways. if you're a fighter and you've got nothing to lose, you always strive for the OTHER one. love will never be enough for you. but if you're also a fighter and you've got everything to lose, you always strive to keep THE one. love is always the reason for you.. this is the road rarely taken.

{my thoughts on the previous post - and MORE}

You know how people say sometimes its better to follow your heart instead of your head. I think that logic is whack when it comes to relationships because it’s when you focus only on what your heart tells you, that you completely put it out there and chances are - it’ll break. Picture this, an ant in the middle of a crowded street. What do you think are its chances of surviving?

Regarding the previous post, here’s my take on situations where leads to a dead end. This is where your head plays an important role! A relationship (which actually shouldn’t even be called a relationship – it contradicts the term too much) where there’s a third party involved {or that makes ones self the third party} or has no intention of going anywhere even from the beginning, is NEVER worth it to take seriously. Not for a second. Understand? I’m not even being cautious when talking about this. I’m not saying – “usually” you shouldn’t take it seriously. I’m saying, NEVER ever – don’t even think about it! – don’t even half-think about it. If there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s this.

You know those movies where a girl falls for a man with a wife? They got it right, HE WILL NEVER LEAVE HIS WIFE and in the end, if not just the third wheel gets hurt. The wife gets hurt too and it only ends in a huge mess.

So what is the right way of handling these sorts of situations?

If you are the one that includes a third party into your relationship; meaning you are the one who are already in a relationship but is still horny for more. Then you should consider breaking up with your girlfriend/boyfriend who you obviously don’t care enough for to stay loyal and keep it in your pants. My question for you is: What the hell gives you the idea that you have the rights to be doing something like that? Did you get a green card from the Relationship Police that you can go screw around with people’s feelings?

If you are the one that becomes the third party, I am in no place to judge. Are you sucked in by the romance? If so, I feel sorry for you. My only advice is that you & I both know it will not end to side you so if you live by, “I just want to have it as long as I can” then wear a helmet and enjoy the ride, pray to God that you come out alive. Just be sure to repeat this every night before you go to bed, “This is a game and it will end soon so I’ll be ready.” And if you’re lucky, you’d learn to believe in that so when the time comes for things to end – trust me, IT WILL COME! You’re ready. If you got involved for any other reason that wasn’t motivated by your feelings – look in the mirror and repeat after me, “I am a horrible person who dedicates my life to ruining other people’s happiness and should get hit a bus when I go out today.”

If you are the victim; your boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating on you. I’m sorry – life sucks and you’ve just got to deal with it. If you’re lucky, you’d find out earlier.

In a nutshell, relationships that goes no where or relationship that involves a third party will always end BAD. Why do people get involved anyways? They think with their hearts instead of their head, some probably thinks with their privates. {if you know what I mean} So, kids. My advice? Stay true to the meaning of relationships, they are meant for two people who actually cares for each other enough to want to stay loyal to each other. (I bet you are surprised that I sound so un-cynical, huh?) So what’s my real advice? “Futureless arrangements” should only be for FUN – people who can’t handle something without any emotional attachments/involvements should STAY AWAY from situations like that because YOU CANT DEAL WITH IT.

reformation; gone wrong

this post may not appear educational on the outset, but i believe deep down, underlying all the confusions, there definitely is a lesson to learn. u know, some may say the lesson is obvious, but i guess u have to be in it to understand how "cloud 9" really can screw you over.

x. what happened...

i just got "semi off" my recent cloud 9. how i spent the past 10 days can only be describe as me, living someone else's life. my attempt to reform came to a sudden halt when i was sucked into yet another whirlwind of drama, scandal, deceitful, futureless "arrangement" with a member of the opposite sex.

x. the situation...

he had a girlfriend who was far away, whom he hasn't really started with; also whom he will be reunited with in a short 2 months. i, on the other hand, was offered the position of the girl he was mysteriously drawn to, whom he was convinced if he never "got to know", he'd spend the rest of his life, thinking "what if"; also whom he will only have 2 short months with.

everyone knows where this is heading rite?

x. how it worked...

girlfriend is left in the dark, boyfriend convinces new girl to become his mistress with his confident exclaimations of genuine passion and hopelessness to her charms; girl consciously knows if she agrees, she'd have to deal with her feelings by the end of the two months; she becomes afraid, but gives in to him at the end because his words and promises, and her wishful nonexistent hopes has left her limp and fragile.

x. what went wrong...

so they enter into the "arrangement"... only to realise, 10 days was sufficient to drive their emotions out of hand. the "fun" aspect quickly got washed over by doubts, greed and insecurities. she was never sure how much to give, ending up cold and hot to him all the time. guy persists to convince the girl that they just need to let go and live the dream; to forget about the 2 months expiration date, but at the same time, he was clinging on to his faraway girlfriend and expected the girl to be fine with everything.

... 10 days.

x. how it ended...

10 days later, girl gets a call from the guy. "its not working out. its too hard." girl puts on her cold side and accepted without as much as a sigh. this probably convinced the guy he did the right thing. the phone clicks off...

... a tear rolls down the girl's face. she felt so stupid.

Are guys in general bipolar?

Its either they’ll care for you too much and become over protective until you feel you have no space to breathe or they just don’t give a F that you’re alive?

Excuse me, I’m ranting.

Do they just not have a reason to be better?

Good guys will attract girls who like consistency; Bad boys will attract girls who love a challenge. However they ARE, girls will still fall for them. I once read somewhere that, “the only problem with men is that they have none.” Do we honestly believe that? As much as I hate that statement I can’t help but think that it’s true because isn’t loving each others flaws the few main key points of a relationship? And honestly, that’s the way it is, isn’t it? We, females tolerate the male. With the excuse or thought in mind that that’s how it’s suppose to be! Their foolishness is what makes us love them more.

Here’s something for you to ponder.

REALLY? In this day and age, really?

Well I guess you can say when you first start falling for that person, the silly things they do really do make you like them even more but honestly when you think about that, isn’t that just plain denial? Doesn’t that translate to: I doubt I can get a better guy with less flaws, I’ll just stick to this one and hope I’ll get use to the idiotic things he does.

I’m sorry if I’m making love seem like a bunch of crap. Its not that I think the whole idea of “love” is ridiculous. (I’m not saying I’m not saying that either) but can you honestly tell me that in this day and age, the fundamentals of a relationship are still being built on the basic things? Everybody wants to gain something from someone; it’s all self interest/inflicted.

Why do people break up?
Do they get sick of each other, do they realize their not right for each other, do they break up because they aren’t getting what they want out of a relationship? Do me a favor, make this your assignment, ask friends around you what the reasons their last breakup occurred are. I can bet my life, that it has something to do with infidelity or someone was being an idiot. Then ask them, how did it start? What was their relationship based on? I can assure you more than 60% of them are because on physical. Why? Because relationships where two partners can share details about their lives and be connected at a very high emotional and spiritual level will NOT breakup for ridiculous reasons! This is often why people don’t stay friends with their exes which make it something unacceptable when exes remain good friends. (Which I can tell you is BS because there is no reason why exes can’t remain good friends)

How often do people experience great love stories in their lives?
The purity of it all has vanished and is never coming back, just like high top jeans.

What’s contradicting?
When I say most people stick it out even when their partner’s attitude frustrates them to their limit and then I say that people are only interested in their own best interest because obviously having to endure someone’s BS attitude is NOT caring for their best interest.

I leave you with one word,
discuss.

newage men

act#1. puppy dog eyes

i use to love those, and would usually give in to the first sight of them being used on me. now... who are we kidding? its like guys have secretly take action lessons or something! dont buy into it so easily, gurls.

act#2. make i-dont-wanna-lose-you proclaimations

how many of those who uses these lines actually mean it nowadays? and what is really the motivation behind it? as in, i dont wanna lose you... because? because their world would fall apart? because their life would have no meaning to it anymore? they cant possibly be serious; and you cant possibly buy into that shit. now here's 12 REAL "becauses":

x1. because if i lose you, i lose the ability to feel like a man becuz i dont have a girl by my side. ('A girl'; meaning not necessarily YOU)
x2. because if i lose you, i would feel like a loser for being ditched and i'd lose face in front of my friends.
x3. because if i lose you, i will have to start looking after myself and stop being a retard.
x4. because if i lose you, i cant get regular sex anymore.
x5. because if i lose you, i dont have someone making me feel important anymore.
x6. because if i lose you, i dont have a sure-backup plan when my other plans fall through.
x7. because if i lose you, i would have to do the chase all over again and i'm so lazy!
x8. because if i lose you, i have to start paying "full price" to impress a new girl and actually put effort to gain affection all over again.
x9. because if i lose you, i might not find someone else (or i havent found anyone else), and it would be 16 months before i get shagged again.
x10. because if i lose you, i will have to explain to my mum why another girl left me, and she'd get all worried again.
x11. because if i lose you, i will have to change so many routines that i've already became so mind-numbingly accustomed to.
x12. because if i lose you, who will nurse me when im sick and disgusting with dribbles running down my nose?

act #3. turning the tables

awesome how most of them hav the ability to do that now. its really their problem, but they make it sound like its ours. the question is directed to them, but they turn it over to make it seem like we need to answer it, and we're wrong for not doing so. and we stupidly feel guilty for it.

i had a man who decided to continue partying while i got caught in between two guys who were throwing punches at each other because of me. when i raised the issue of him not being around to protect me while i was in distraught, the told me i was hurting his feelings for accusing him of not trying when he did (or had his reasons to not be there), and blaming him when he actually did make an effort. (wtf?)

- and i actually hugged him and apologised for making him feel bad, saying that i should have acknowleged his effort. (double wtf)

are men getting smarter? or are we becoming dumber?

either way, the way guys are evolving is seriously turning me off. men use to be called liars, now they're way beyond that; so far beyond that, the word "liar" has become only 10% of their entire being. (while the other 90% is full of the other newage crap)

are we now forced to settle for less? - i dont know. your call.

.what i think are 'some' problems with men today.

dear readers

please be aware that IM RANTING. :)
don't mind my extreme generalizations.

*** ** *

prob #1. too much emotional bagage

"my ex and i broke up, but she's still a great friend. she'll always have a special place in my heart. we broke up becuz (insert dramatic event here). if not for that, i think we'd still be together."

well, yea. i dont need to know that. i dont need to know some 'other' girl changed your life, and you owe every emotional growth to her. i dont need to know that there's someone out there with the power to grab your heart from me, as soon as she decides to come back to you.

i dont need to feel like i'm second best to your great lost love. i dont need to be reminded that i can never take her place. i dont need to know that you were happiest with her, but i'm "sweet" too. i dont need to know that becuz of her, you can't love me as much as you know u can.

i am ME. see me for ME. love me for ME. be with me becuz u can't wait to create and build memories with me. if you cant drop the bagage, at least try shutting up about it; or dont mind me becoming little miss-insecure.


prob #2. too much influence from friends

i know they'd make comments about me. they'd tell u if i'm hot, and they'd make you go out and hunt more if they think i'm not. they'd call you a pussy becuz u wouldn't f*** another girl behind my back. they'd tell you that your freedom is gone. they'd tell you "your girlfriend won't find out".

they'd tell you life is too short to stay with one girl. they'd pressure you that "this is your chance with a hot babe. you'd regret if u turn ur back on this chance!" they'd tell you that you can do better. they'd tell you that you're a loser for spending too much time with me. they'd tell you life just started when you turn 30.

but there's also things they dont tell u. like how extremely envious they are of you becuz you've got someone you can always rely on. that someone would always be there to listen, to hold you and make you feel wanted. that when you're sick, someone would willingly nurse u well, and hold ur hands when the rest of the world turn their backs on u. that when u want love, u dont have to look far and hard. that someone sees you as their world; while they're stuck with their massive ego, loud mouth and stale penises.

really, guys, take a step back and think about it. they can't make u feel what i can. they don't know me like you do. only u know whats between us. at the end of the day, when you're old and alone, they're not gonna be there to say "sorry man. shudn't hav told u to break up with her. she was pretty awesome. i guess there wasn't anyone better. tough luck." - and by then, guess what? you've lost me.


prob #3. too greedy

i thought this only applied to cute guys. guys who had the ability to switch girlfriends every week. but now i realised, some ugly men with great hearts can be like this too. they're lucky enough to find a girl who worships them, only to cause his ego to grow bigger, hence made him think "i can do better".

one fact guys fail to realise. average guys are more attactive to other girls ONLY CUZ they've got a girl in their arms. girls (especially single girls) tend to scout their opposition (usually another girl who's around their level in terms of looks and style), then check out the man that girl is with, and think they deserve at least something like that too. OR the taken man just seem more appealing becuz he's taken.

so, you think you will remain attractive when you're single and giving out desperate vibes all over again? you think you can do better than what you have? you think girls like me fall for you everyday? - seriously think again.


prob #4. too overly confident

this links to the above. guys nowadays no longer appreaciate the fact that their girlfriend loves them. they no longer appreciate the chance they've been given to be with such a wonderful girl (who probably possesses bad habits which really are only normal to every human being).

they no longer have that "i'm the luckiest man alive" mentality when they meet someone whom they click with, who loves them, cares about them, and accepts them; unless they're dating a hot babe wit no brains, who probably wakes up every morning feeling insecure becuz she's afraid of losing her beauty. (becuz when that happens, its goodbye to their passport to get through life.)

im not a super babe. but i'd still like to think i'm with a man who thinks i am. i'd most certainly feel like the luckiest girl alive when i'm with him; but i dont need HIM thinking im the luckiest girl to have HIM. leave that to me.

how it starts and how you'd know

how does you're relationships start?

#1 he's tried to court you for a long time.

give yourself a pat on the back, he's a keeper! ...for now.


#2 you've had your eye on him for a while, he finally gave in.

a. he could have finally "got to know you" and decide that you're good enough.

b. he looked around longer and told himself, "she seems like a good deal...for now."

c. he wants some action and you're willingly around.


#3 you spot him, he spots you . unsure of what he feels, you express yourself and then he says he loves you too.

a. he could be thinking, "well, she likes me. why not give it a shot?"

here is where i think a 3month rule would apply. notice i said, "you spot him, he spots you." it means it was a at-first-sight sort of thing so if two people gets into a relationship, the first 3 months would be the make-it-or-break-it. get past the first 3 months, i can guarantee you'll last longer than 13 weeks. ;)


conclusions.

#1 which ever way it starts, how are you sure he really loves you?

a. if he courts you for a long time, 99% chances are he really cares for you. if not, he's mentally ill for chasing after something he doesnt really care about. i'm sure we all agree on this.

b. he finally gives in. 50/50 chance.

c. at-first-side effect, can be split into two sub categories.
i) you admit you like him first : he could just be like i said before, trying his luck with you since you like him too. he doesnt lose anything.
ii) he admits he likes you first : he still could be trying his luck, just not as certain that you would feel the same way. he might lose face but he wont hurt as much you as you think he would.

i actually want to focus on the at-first-side effect and the girl being the one that confesses she likes the guy first, most of the time the guy would just go along with that girl. i wonder why is that? is it that, as long as it is a girl, a guy would not reject at all? (with the physical appearance checked out - for the typical "shallowish" guy)

when its not the guy who pursues a girl - it usually is a girl developing feelings for a guy first & the when the boy finds out, he'll (like i said before) try his luck. so my real question here is this :
how do you know if he really cares for you? because if he starts to date you mainly because you already had feelings for him and he wouldnt have to put in any effort into chasing after you, where does his heart really lie?

does a guys feelings really only slowly develop after they GET into a relationship? or is that a basis of a relationship doomed for failure?

the three month rule

so a friend pointed out something recently which brings me to question.

#1 is there a 3 month period?

explanation : when you finally get into a relationship. is the first 3 months of the relationship just "getting to know each other period?" is this the make it or break it period?

okay so thats obviously one way of seeing it. doesnt matter how long you've known someone as a friend because having a person as a friend and having them as a boyfriend/girlfriend is a totally different thing. they may act a certain way when you're still friends and then they may act a certain way when their in a relationship, so the first 3 months is the testing period and it will come down to the do or die question : does she/he work as a couple?

#2 is there another perception of the 3 month period?

yes. of course.

some people may see the first 3 months as the honeymoon period. same goes for people who get married and newlyweds are always seen much happier than those who've been married for a while. (in most cases that is)

but somehow for me, it comes down to the same thing. it may be all butterflies and kisses the first few months then reality kicks in & things go sour.

okay so my real question here is,
is there some kind of unspoken 3-month rule that i've just recently heard about because it seems to make a little sense to me - i just wish i could know more. & if there isnt. well, i guess we girls can now start using this 3 month rule because in a way, it seems like a damn good way to prevent a bad relationship from continuing.

#3 does a three-month-rule exist?

who's here to stick around for real?

ques.1 - why are men so different?

random: three guys - jake, carl and bob.

{jack is there for you whenever you need him. it could be miles out of his way, but he's there to pick you up anyway. he gets along with your family and you're beyond comfortable around him. you guys can cuddle up, but you feel no sexual connections. just comfort. extreme comfort. your family loves him too, and he treats your family very nice as well. he listens, he shares, he says things to make you feel special. he's like a best male friend. you know you can rely on him.}

{carl is someone you can't take your hands off. and he can't take his hands off you. you guys have so much chemistry and passion, others around you notice and wish you both would just screw already and get it over with. you guys share the same ambitions but rarely ever have decent conversations which do not lead to horny talks. at this point, he's totally in for a fling, but states clearly that he's not in it for the long run, although he shows many signs of being more conservative than he really is. all talk, no action.}

{bob is a random nice guy that you met from friends. you do not know much about him or his past because he isn't as open as carl, and isn't as close as jake. bob, on the outside, seem like the kind of guy you would bring home to mum. he's soft spoken and very careful about the way he acts in front of you. he seems genuinely interested to get to know you better. he does little sweet gestures to make you smile, and you guys are able to share lengthy conversations about the most random things. passion is low but sweetness is high.}


So, which guy is here for keeps? or a better question would be, which guy is mr.right? or do we even have to choose from these 3 guys? but if we don't and the moment passes and you lose all 3... could chances be you've thrown your right guy out the window? or is this where you close your eyes and tell yourself to keep waiting because mr.right isn't here yet?

what does it mean to you?

correct me if i'm wrong but i'm sure everyone knows what being "in a relationship" means, no?

see for me, being in a relationship means 2 people are exclusive and there are no more options to consider. somehow in the twenty first century, people are starting all that "open relationship" sort of things, what IS the point? the whole meaning of RELATIONSHIP is to be exclusive, no? why do you want to label your relationship with the world "relationship" if it has nothing to do with being exclusive? its like ordering sushi without the rice. doesnt make sense does it?


"... you're always going to learn new things about each other despite being in one or without. the difference is, do i want to get to know you on a whole different level than just as friends. i want to know you inside out, learn to accept and appreciate your every flaw or perfection, be with you every step of the way, I WANT TO LEARN YOU AS MINE."

if you're in a relationship and only talk to your partner about things you talk to your friends with, how is your boyfriend any different from other friends who are boys? i wouldnt phrase it as "i want to learn you as mine" but "I WANT TO KNOW YOU MORE EMOTIONALLY, i want to you know you're hopes and dreams. i want to know what makes you tick." isnt that what really separates a boyfriend and a normal friend? basically if a guy doesnt care to know you in detail, i dont really know what he wants from you anymore because (correct me if i'm wrong) the point of being in a relationship is NOT just for fun.

but i dont want to sound like a hypocrite or anything, if it's just for casual relationships ... which is usually the case because (speaking for people in my age group) we're not in it for it to last for a lifetime. we're basically just looking around & for how ever long period of time we want to stick to that person really depends on an individual BUT even if its just a casual relationship, i dont see why the same concept shouldnt be applied. why shouldnt you share intimate details? why shouldnt you focus on that one person and not constantly scouting for other options?

now tell me, what does a relationship mean to you?

xxx
on a different note - when a guy says, "i'm afraid when we get to know each other, we would come to realise we arent right for each other." well, sorry buddy. thats one weak ass statement because guess what? theres something called a break up. which every normal human being goes through, you cant expect to BOOM! meet someone totally compatible with you, get married & live happily ever after. coz if thats what you had in mind, then oh god are you naive.

plus . isnt trial and error all part of life?


"... lame ass excuses such as "don't wanna ruin the friendship" and "i'm not ready for commitments" should really only translate to mean you're not the one they want."

when a guy says, "im afraid being exclusive would ruin our friendship." heres what comes to my mind. it wouldnt ruin our friendship is we dont break up (which is inevitable & totally naive to think it wont happen) but, correct me if i'm wrong, at that point where he says that - we are not actually together yet, yes? so it means that you havent become a couple & already he is thinking of breaking up with you. now tell me, what does that mean to you?

so when a guy says, "i'm afraid of ruining our friendship." he's actually saying, "i dont feel strongly enough for you to make it work and im 50/50 on if it would end badly and im just afraid that i would meet someone else i'd rather get with & it would mean i can no longer enjoy your company & lose my chance with you ultimately." & he'll be hoping that his statement would make you think that he cares so much about you & so you'll give him the benefit of a doubt. truth is, as naive or clueless guys portray themselves to be, their not really as dumb as we think they are.


"... if there's one thing guys have learn from 'the complicatedness' of girls, its their ability to "not mean what they say". we (girls) have read dozens of articles on how guys complain "girls say one thing, but mean another"

so let me get this straight . from my POV it means that guys ARE aware that girls dont mean what they say, right? so why do they act so clueless when when we say something we obviously dont mean.

is this because the dont care enough to figure out whats wrong? does that mean, that person who doesnt bother to dig deeper isnt as into us as we thought they are. does that mean that a guy who really cares for you would care more about us to dig deeper?

thoughts? ...


lastly .
there ARE many fishes in the sea. duh! but what if there is ONLY one type of fish that you want. see its easy for us to say "move on if the guy doesnt give a shit because theres bound to be other guys who will." but what if the other guys who gives a damn are guys we dont give a damn about in return?

what do you do then?

flush those excuses.

"...maybe if guys just aren't that into you that they should just state one thing and only one thing: I'M NOT READY. MOVE ALONG NOW. SHOO! at least that's being honest. no grey areas."

exp.4 - why (i think) guys do NOT say those words.

fact is, everyone's selfish. if you're a girl, you'd know how it is to wanna 'keep the fans'. come on, admit it. we all do it.

a guy comes along, clearly interested, average looking (according to your taste), but 'not your cuppa tea' - boyfriend wise. still, you do things (even just little things) to keep that attention. some of you may use the "maybe i would fall for him someday, so i just wanna keep him around" excuse, while some may go the extreme and say "that's just me. i can't help it that my 'normal' self misleads him" bullcrap. - im not judging.

point it, guys do that too. yes, some may 'sincerely' say that to spare our feelings (although it really does more damage in the long run), but really, no one would willingly cut out 'attention' from their lives. everyone loves a spare boat. everyone needs a fall-back plan. everyone wants to keep that shred of hope that someone out there, despite all their other rejections in life, still "wants them".

thats one perspective. but hop on to the other side. if you're the spare-boat, the fall-back plan, the 'mere assurance' in that person's lives, ask yourself, what are you doing? why are you knowingly throwing yourself at someone, only to play their second fiddle?

a quote we should live by: "dont make someone a priority when to them, you're just an option."


exp.5 - why (i think) you should not buy into their 21st centuary cliche excuses.

if there's one thing guys have learn from 'the complicatedness' of girls, its their ability to "not mean what they say". we (girls) have read dozens of articles on how guys complain "girls say one thing, but mean another", "i don't know" actually means "you're the asshole!", and "nothing" actually means "are you blind?! of course i'm mad!"... but guys are no different. at least in this matter they aren't.

if you havent already read the infamous 'he's just not that into you' book, read it! lame ass excuses such as "don't wanna ruin the friendship" and "i'm not ready for commitments" should really only translate to mean you're not the one they want.

it'd be debateable whether that means they'd want you at a later time, but even if so, that'd only be because they didn't find anyone else, hence decide to settle for the one who's a sure thing. (also called the safe bet, the easy way out, the 'done deal')

after all, you can run a marathon and dream of all the cold fizzy refreshment awaiting you at the finish line, but who wouldn't stop for water handily given out along the way, rite? and just in case you missed the point, you are the WATER. do you really wanna be that person for them? or the better question to ask is, do you think that's what you deserve?

there'll always be someone out there who'd dream of you as that prize at the finish line. that's the standard we should live by when it comes to men. don't ever let him make you compromise that.

he's just not that into you, silly.

guys and their crappy ass, lame and lousy excuses for not wanting to be in a relationship. so you've hung out, you've danced, you've held hands and you've kissed. and when you ask him , "so.... what am i to you?" ..he replies, "i'm seeeeeeeing you babe". please slap yourself hard for actually allowing yourself to believe such LIES. or better yet, konk yourself on the head with a glass bottle for attempting such sweet gestures with a guy who is just physically but NOT emotionally available to you. bravo!

there are NO grey areas. no such in-betweens. it's either you're with me or you're not. you want me or you don't. love me or not. there is a very good reason why we see girls in movies pluck petals of a whole flower by saying, "he loves me.. he loves me NOT, he loves me.." .. because ladies, that is how the world works. i'm not saying one shouldn't wait and have faith that someday that 'perfect' person's feelings will change. i realise that feelings are quite the inconsistent variable BUT it's just so damn bloody hurtful to acknowledge the oh-so-popular phrase 'he's just not THAT into you'.

and then here comes the explanation to go along with 'i'm seeing you'.

exp. 1- i want us to get to know each other better.

ok. first of all, that's what break-ups are for. i'm not conservative.. not THAT much anyway, but when people kiss, it shows that they do want to be with each other. exclusive even, for that matter. i mean, why kiss someone when you're going to be pashing someone else afters? i know i've had my share of pashing.. er, randomly BUT in my defense, they were all dares and i did really have feelings. ok, not much of a strong argument there. but you get my drift. and furthermore, the entire point of being in a relationship is to GET to know each other better. you're always going to learn new things about each other despite being in one or without. the difference is, do i want to get to know you on a whole different level than just as friends. i want to know you inside out, learn to accept and appreciate your every flaw or perfection, be with you every step of the way, I WANT TO LEARN YOU AS MINE.

exp. 2- i've yet to take you out on a real date.

well if you really haven't, shame on you again, girl. but honestly, what is really considered a real date nowadays anyway? a group hang is a date. when you go to the movies and sat next to each other, holding hands is a date. when you dance together at a club is a date. when you're over at his house just chilling and maybe kiss a little is a date. if he doesn't consider THOSE as dates, ok, SLAP YOURSELF HARDER. then what the hell do they consider as? a friend with benefits session??? just because you group hang, you still do sweet gestures. bloody hell, i'd consider them dates.

and another thing, after he explains that that you and him HAVEN'T been on a real date yet, do you hear him ask you out after that? is he all talk and no action? what a jerk. or.. he could just be stressed out with other things at the moment. go on continue waiting for that date. be a fool because what are we all but fools in love.

___________

bullshit. bullshit. bullshit. i've always thought that when two people really like each other, they'd want to be with each other and ONLY with each other. it's a universal thing. you don't give someone the option to not wait and allow them to latch elsewhere if something better comes along. instead, you'd want them to stay, not go. you'd want them all for yourself. you'd be selfish. you'd be possesive. you'd be desperately in deep infatuation/ love. it's automatic. capeesh?

- xoxo, misguidedheart.


EDIT; i totally forgot. here's exp. 3: relationships are commitment.

- okay. first and foremost, don't try and play that card. no one, and i mean NO ONE should use that as an excuse to not try to be in a relationship. everything is a commitment. you've got to try and work hard at everything you do. it's like school, uni and work. they are all commitments and yet, you still go through with them. there is no sure way as to how a relationship might end up. "just get messy in life, at least you know you're living". you can't expect to work less later on just because you know each other more thoroughly before diving into a relationship. like i said, you're always going to find out new things about each other despite being further down the road together.

you know what. i've just realised by ranting regarding the 3rd exp. doesn't even really make sense. all i can say is that it's just a damn lousy excuse to get out of not wanting to be in a relationship. i've beginning to appreciate the idea that maybe if guys just aren't that into you that they should just state one thing and only one thing: I'M NOT READY. MOVE ALONG NOW. SHOO! at least that's being honest. no grey areas. it might actually do us girls a favor so we don't waste our bloody time waiting around, wondering aimlessly. and girls, this goes the same to you too so don't think you're off the hook. by the way, i do realise this is such an emotionally-driven entry. HAHA XD !!!