who do you wanna be?

my dear men,

it has come to our attention that nowadays, you are allowed to throw fits and to have extra sensitive feelings and emotions that we cannot 'hurt'. we are also now aware that you expect us to pick up on the slightest change of mood, tone of voice, random sighs and unusual looks of discomfort by looking into your eyes.

but here's the deal. if you wanna be the newage hyper-sensitive guy, be prepared to lose the old cliche excuses that guys love so much. excuses such as 'men don't notice those things' and 'men dont understand why women do/think/say things like that' so on and so forth just wont work anymore.

the logic -

if you wanna show traits of being so in touch with your emotions, you've lost the privilege of being the ignorant men.

if you can be sensitive enough to notice and be so adamant about your 'hurts' that we've caused, and have the balls to be verbal to us about it, its only normal that we'd expect you to be sensitive enough to notice ours.

so pick a side, or be welcomed to our world and everything that comes with it.

dont know what to think.

probably shouldn't post something when one is feeling emotionally unstable. at the same time, this could be the best time to post because everything feels so fresh in your mind. ok, here's the deal -

if your boyfriend cheated on his girlfriend (who is someone he hooked up with on the internet while pending their first everything) to be with you, what are the chances that he would cheat on you when he finally does meet this virtual-became-reality girl, while you're overseas?

the above may sound like a soapie, but sadly, this soapie is currently happening to moi.

and how much of your gut instinct can you trust?
and how much weight do u give to the little things?

like... how he does not tell you as much about the things he's been upto;
like... how he becomes selective when he answers your questions about that girl;
like... how he doesn't initiate phone conversations anymore;
like... how he decides to quote lines like "I'm a realist. I'm a romantic. I'm an indecisive, piece of shit";
like... how he decides to go out with her and conveniently not tell you about it until you have to ask him twice about it (mind you, i was nice and did not appear threatened the first time he told me he did);
like... how you just can feel that he sends you short messages like "i miss you sexiness" as an obligation, rather than something he truly means;

like... how you have been feeling very disconnected from him even before he "confessed" that he saw her again...?

as much as one wishes not to think about the things above, how can they not if they still care about the relationship?

and how do you sleep at night when you know you cant ask him about it now, in fear that you'd be labelled the irritating and needy and jealous girlfriend, while he's conveniently around the arms of his virtual-turned-reality ex girlfriend? (who still wishes to have a piece of him, mind you)

and not forgetting, when you have a constant reminder that 3 months ago, she was the irritating, needy and jealous girlfriend (as he calls her) while you were the one who was conveniently around! need i remind you how that turned out?

wth. i am so losing my cool.
and i know one way, the only way, to regain my compulsure.
and im not afraid to use it.

the break.

what happens when you're trapped in a relationship where your guy says 'go on girl' when it starts to rain? it's all smiles and giggles until you hear the thundering of sound of a storm up ahead. how is it possible that one can push a loved one away so easily when something bad comes up? and to what extent is that okay? and mind you, this isn't a 'go away and leave me alone for a day' kind of shoving. it's a 'racheal and ross' kind of break.

i'd imagine it would be ok if he just needs a few days off and of course ladies, we've all been there esp when it's our time of the month when we just need to be left alone. but when a guy can easily conjur up a solution as to having a break... it's heartbreaking. it makes one feel like the other has become a burden. someone told me that there is a fine distinction between dealing with one's problems and keeping a loved one at arm's length to deal with it.

and then there are pathetic girls who still put up with it and stay by their boyfriend's side despite being already kicked temporarily out of his life. i'd be happy for you if it all works out now, but what happens when he's going through another issue in the future? you can't help but wonder, will you be left out in the cold again?

one advise i received from a friend is: ask your man, what exactly is this break suppose to achieve? and work from there.

but if the real reason he is doing this is to cushion the final fall, the official break up, then you can bitch slap him all the way to antartica for all i care. he doesn't deserve you, not one bit because that's just cruel.

we dont want to be adored; we want to be loved.

recently talked to a friend (boy) who has recently found out his ex-girlfriend has recently started dating someone new. someone nicer, sweeter and the total opposite of him. we spent hours and hours chatting about how upset and how much he regrets the way he treated his ex-girlfriend and he kept asking for advise on how to get her back. he claims that what they have is so special. love;thats what he called it.

of course i felt bad for the guy, hes lost someone he really cares about and he has to see them be totally happy together. sort of like having it rubbed onto his face some more. then he says some things that has been stuck on my mind since. he said he regrets not prioritizing her more, he says that he never spent more time with her and the reason he did that was at the back of his mind he just thought she would never leave him. he took for granted that she loved him unconditionally and i can tell, she did. i know both parties and i can say that she really loved him unconditionally but she just got to a point where enough is enough.

then he justifies that he really loved her and its not because he didnt care enough for her for him to spend more time with her, talk to her more and/or prioritized her more. its because...and i quote, "sometimes boys get busy with things like friends, sports or whatever and we just forget about our girlfriends." and he quickly added, "its not because we dont care for them enough, we love our girlfriends but its just...sometimes we forget." is that really true? how can you get involved in something (anything at all) to the point where you forget about your girlfriend? forget to call her or text her. are men and women really that different?

i know for a fact, no matter how busy a female is. her boyfriend is always in her mind somewhere and in the midst of chaos, she would still be able to pick up the phone and call just to say that shes thinking of him. its so easy but why is it so difficult for males to do the same?

if that is true, it they really can just forget (they love us but they cant help but forgetting about us) what are we females suppose to do? do we accept the fact and never voice up when they are busy and forget to call us?

heres what i think:
from another thing my friend said to me, "sometimes we have to be reminded."(which i think is so foolish because if you love someone and really care for them, you shouldnt have to be reminded to keep in contact with them but thats besides the point.) so my answer is yes. yes to voicing up, letting them know or reminding them.."hey! i know you're busy but i'm still here." because i've noticed, no matter how secure or stable a relationship is both parties have got to say "i love you/i appreciate you/i miss you/i care about you" often enough because (even though words are just words) they mean so much.

and if the males arent aware of that fact, ladies! we have to make it clear because even though we want to give them the benefit of a doubt, sometimes their just so incredibly clueless...and another thing that my friend said."i really didnt know what i got till i lost it and now i feel so helpless." we've got sometimes remind the boys, they can lose us any second and they should never take us for granted. so ladies, as much as you love your boyfriends and want to make them feel just as loved...its so important to sometimes make them feel a little bit insecure just so they know they should take us for granted and hold on to us a little tighter. we've got to have our tactics to make sure we are loved the way we are suppose to, the way we deserve to because we do. dont you ever question that.