probably shouldn't post something when one is feeling emotionally unstable. at the same time, this could be the best time to post because everything feels so fresh in your mind. ok, here's the deal -
if your boyfriend cheated on his girlfriend (who is someone he hooked up with on the internet while pending their first everything) to be with you, what are the chances that he would cheat on you when he finally does meet this virtual-became-reality girl, while you're overseas?
the above may sound like a soapie, but sadly, this soapie is currently happening to moi.
and how much of your gut instinct can you trust?
and how much weight do u give to the little things?
like... how he does not tell you as much about the things he's been upto;
like... how he becomes selective when he answers your questions about that girl;
like... how he doesn't initiate phone conversations anymore;
like... how he decides to quote lines like "I'm a realist. I'm a romantic. I'm an indecisive, piece of shit";
like... how he decides to go out with her and conveniently not tell you about it until you have to ask him twice about it (mind you, i was nice and did not appear threatened the first time he told me he did);
like... how you just can feel that he sends you short messages like "i miss you sexiness" as an obligation, rather than something he truly means;
if your boyfriend cheated on his girlfriend (who is someone he hooked up with on the internet while pending their first everything) to be with you, what are the chances that he would cheat on you when he finally does meet this virtual-became-reality girl, while you're overseas?
the above may sound like a soapie, but sadly, this soapie is currently happening to moi.
and how much of your gut instinct can you trust?
and how much weight do u give to the little things?
like... how he does not tell you as much about the things he's been upto;
like... how he becomes selective when he answers your questions about that girl;
like... how he doesn't initiate phone conversations anymore;
like... how he decides to quote lines like "I'm a realist. I'm a romantic. I'm an indecisive, piece of shit";
like... how he decides to go out with her and conveniently not tell you about it until you have to ask him twice about it (mind you, i was nice and did not appear threatened the first time he told me he did);
like... how you just can feel that he sends you short messages like "i miss you sexiness" as an obligation, rather than something he truly means;
like... how you have been feeling very disconnected from him even before he "confessed" that he saw her again...?
as much as one wishes not to think about the things above, how can they not if they still care about the relationship?
and how do you sleep at night when you know you cant ask him about it now, in fear that you'd be labelled the irritating and needy and jealous girlfriend, while he's conveniently around the arms of his virtual-turned-reality ex girlfriend? (who still wishes to have a piece of him, mind you)
and not forgetting, when you have a constant reminder that 3 months ago, she was the irritating, needy and jealous girlfriend (as he calls her) while you were the one who was conveniently around! need i remind you how that turned out?
wth. i am so losing my cool.
and i know one way, the only way, to regain my compulsure.
and im not afraid to use it.
as much as one wishes not to think about the things above, how can they not if they still care about the relationship?
and how do you sleep at night when you know you cant ask him about it now, in fear that you'd be labelled the irritating and needy and jealous girlfriend, while he's conveniently around the arms of his virtual-turned-reality ex girlfriend? (who still wishes to have a piece of him, mind you)
and not forgetting, when you have a constant reminder that 3 months ago, she was the irritating, needy and jealous girlfriend (as he calls her) while you were the one who was conveniently around! need i remind you how that turned out?
wth. i am so losing my cool.
and i know one way, the only way, to regain my compulsure.
and im not afraid to use it.
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