correct me if i'm wrong but i'm sure everyone knows what being "in a relationship" means, no?
see for me, being in a relationship means 2 people are exclusive and there are no more options to consider. somehow in the twenty first century, people are starting all that "open relationship" sort of things, what IS the point? the whole meaning of RELATIONSHIP is to be exclusive, no? why do you want to label your relationship with the world "relationship" if it has nothing to do with being exclusive? its like ordering sushi without the rice. doesnt make sense does it?
"... you're always going to learn new things about each other despite being in one or without. the difference is, do i want to get to know you on a whole different level than just as friends. i want to know you inside out, learn to accept and appreciate your every flaw or perfection, be with you every step of the way, I WANT TO LEARN YOU AS MINE."
if you're in a relationship and only talk to your partner about things you talk to your friends with, how is your boyfriend any different from other friends who are boys? i wouldnt phrase it as "i want to learn you as mine" but "I WANT TO KNOW YOU MORE EMOTIONALLY, i want to you know you're hopes and dreams. i want to know what makes you tick." isnt that what really separates a boyfriend and a normal friend? basically if a guy doesnt care to know you in detail, i dont really know what he wants from you anymore because (correct me if i'm wrong) the point of being in a relationship is NOT just for fun.
but i dont want to sound like a hypocrite or anything, if it's just for casual relationships ... which is usually the case because (speaking for people in my age group) we're not in it for it to last for a lifetime. we're basically just looking around & for how ever long period of time we want to stick to that person really depends on an individual BUT even if its just a casual relationship, i dont see why the same concept shouldnt be applied. why shouldnt you share intimate details? why shouldnt you focus on that one person and not constantly scouting for other options?
now tell me, what does a relationship mean to you?
xxx
on a different note - when a guy says, "i'm afraid when we get to know each other, we would come to realise we arent right for each other." well, sorry buddy. thats one weak ass statement because guess what? theres something called a break up. which every normal human being goes through, you cant expect to BOOM! meet someone totally compatible with you, get married & live happily ever after. coz if thats what you had in mind, then oh god are you naive.
plus . isnt trial and error all part of life?
"... lame ass excuses such as "don't wanna ruin the friendship" and "i'm not ready for commitments" should really only translate to mean you're not the one they want."
when a guy says, "im afraid being exclusive would ruin our friendship." heres what comes to my mind. it wouldnt ruin our friendship is we dont break up (which is inevitable & totally naive to think it wont happen) but, correct me if i'm wrong, at that point where he says that - we are not actually together yet, yes? so it means that you havent become a couple & already he is thinking of breaking up with you. now tell me, what does that mean to you?
so when a guy says, "i'm afraid of ruining our friendship." he's actually saying, "i dont feel strongly enough for you to make it work and im 50/50 on if it would end badly and im just afraid that i would meet someone else i'd rather get with & it would mean i can no longer enjoy your company & lose my chance with you ultimately." & he'll be hoping that his statement would make you think that he cares so much about you & so you'll give him the benefit of a doubt. truth is, as naive or clueless guys portray themselves to be, their not really as dumb as we think they are.
"... if there's one thing guys have learn from 'the complicatedness' of girls, its their ability to "not mean what they say". we (girls) have read dozens of articles on how guys complain "girls say one thing, but mean another"
so let me get this straight . from my POV it means that guys ARE aware that girls dont mean what they say, right? so why do they act so clueless when when we say something we obviously dont mean.
is this because the dont care enough to figure out whats wrong? does that mean, that person who doesnt bother to dig deeper isnt as into us as we thought they are. does that mean that a guy who really cares for you would care more about us to dig deeper?
thoughts? ...
lastly .
there ARE many fishes in the sea. duh! but what if there is ONLY one type of fish that you want. see its easy for us to say "move on if the guy doesnt give a shit because theres bound to be other guys who will." but what if the other guys who gives a damn are guys we dont give a damn about in return?
what do you do then?
see for me, being in a relationship means 2 people are exclusive and there are no more options to consider. somehow in the twenty first century, people are starting all that "open relationship" sort of things, what IS the point? the whole meaning of RELATIONSHIP is to be exclusive, no? why do you want to label your relationship with the world "relationship" if it has nothing to do with being exclusive? its like ordering sushi without the rice. doesnt make sense does it?
"... you're always going to learn new things about each other despite being in one or without. the difference is, do i want to get to know you on a whole different level than just as friends. i want to know you inside out, learn to accept and appreciate your every flaw or perfection, be with you every step of the way, I WANT TO LEARN YOU AS MINE."
if you're in a relationship and only talk to your partner about things you talk to your friends with, how is your boyfriend any different from other friends who are boys? i wouldnt phrase it as "i want to learn you as mine" but "I WANT TO KNOW YOU MORE EMOTIONALLY, i want to you know you're hopes and dreams. i want to know what makes you tick." isnt that what really separates a boyfriend and a normal friend? basically if a guy doesnt care to know you in detail, i dont really know what he wants from you anymore because (correct me if i'm wrong) the point of being in a relationship is NOT just for fun.
but i dont want to sound like a hypocrite or anything, if it's just for casual relationships ... which is usually the case because (speaking for people in my age group) we're not in it for it to last for a lifetime. we're basically just looking around & for how ever long period of time we want to stick to that person really depends on an individual BUT even if its just a casual relationship, i dont see why the same concept shouldnt be applied. why shouldnt you share intimate details? why shouldnt you focus on that one person and not constantly scouting for other options?
now tell me, what does a relationship mean to you?
xxx
on a different note - when a guy says, "i'm afraid when we get to know each other, we would come to realise we arent right for each other." well, sorry buddy. thats one weak ass statement because guess what? theres something called a break up. which every normal human being goes through, you cant expect to BOOM! meet someone totally compatible with you, get married & live happily ever after. coz if thats what you had in mind, then oh god are you naive.
plus . isnt trial and error all part of life?
"... lame ass excuses such as "don't wanna ruin the friendship" and "i'm not ready for commitments" should really only translate to mean you're not the one they want."
when a guy says, "im afraid being exclusive would ruin our friendship." heres what comes to my mind. it wouldnt ruin our friendship is we dont break up (which is inevitable & totally naive to think it wont happen) but, correct me if i'm wrong, at that point where he says that - we are not actually together yet, yes? so it means that you havent become a couple & already he is thinking of breaking up with you. now tell me, what does that mean to you?
so when a guy says, "i'm afraid of ruining our friendship." he's actually saying, "i dont feel strongly enough for you to make it work and im 50/50 on if it would end badly and im just afraid that i would meet someone else i'd rather get with & it would mean i can no longer enjoy your company & lose my chance with you ultimately." & he'll be hoping that his statement would make you think that he cares so much about you & so you'll give him the benefit of a doubt. truth is, as naive or clueless guys portray themselves to be, their not really as dumb as we think they are.
"... if there's one thing guys have learn from 'the complicatedness' of girls, its their ability to "not mean what they say". we (girls) have read dozens of articles on how guys complain "girls say one thing, but mean another"
so let me get this straight . from my POV it means that guys ARE aware that girls dont mean what they say, right? so why do they act so clueless when when we say something we obviously dont mean.
is this because the dont care enough to figure out whats wrong? does that mean, that person who doesnt bother to dig deeper isnt as into us as we thought they are. does that mean that a guy who really cares for you would care more about us to dig deeper?
thoughts? ...
lastly .
there ARE many fishes in the sea. duh! but what if there is ONLY one type of fish that you want. see its easy for us to say "move on if the guy doesnt give a shit because theres bound to be other guys who will." but what if the other guys who gives a damn are guys we dont give a damn about in return?
what do you do then?
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